This post has been rendered moot by recent events, however riddles of any sort are always welcome here at A Simple Bloog. :)
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Nevermind
This post has been rendered moot by recent events, however riddles of any sort are always welcome here at A Simple Bloog. :)
Sacrificing your soul to dark and malevolent forces made easy
Yesterday, I went to the beach with some friends of mine, and then we all went to my house. We then proceeded to sacrifice my soul to demons, and I have to say, it was a lot of fun. I was thinking the experience over, and wondering why more people didn't do this, and I realized that some people might not know how to sacrifice their souls. So I would like to share my personal favorite method.
Step 1. Lie on a flat surface. It can be the floor, but I find that the process is much more satisfying if you are on a slightly raised platform. A low table or large ottoman is ideal.
Step 2. Have two to seven people surround the platform. The more the merrier, but any more than seven and the evil spirits may reject your soul.
Step 3. Play the iCarly theme song. Don't question it. It appeases the spirits.
Step 4. Have your friends walk around you, chanting "Carly, Carly, Carly" over and over.
Step 5. It is at this point that you may begin to experience the feeling of your soul leaving your body. It is a different experience for everyone, so I cannot tell you quite what to expect.
Step 6. Congrats, your soul has been sacrificed to evil forces!
Now, there are many methods of sacrificing your soul, this just happens to be my favorite. I've found that is yields consistent results, and is easy and cost effective. I hope you have fun sacrificing your soul!
Step 1. Lie on a flat surface. It can be the floor, but I find that the process is much more satisfying if you are on a slightly raised platform. A low table or large ottoman is ideal.
Step 2. Have two to seven people surround the platform. The more the merrier, but any more than seven and the evil spirits may reject your soul.
Step 3. Play the iCarly theme song. Don't question it. It appeases the spirits.
Step 4. Have your friends walk around you, chanting "Carly, Carly, Carly" over and over.
Step 5. It is at this point that you may begin to experience the feeling of your soul leaving your body. It is a different experience for everyone, so I cannot tell you quite what to expect.
Step 6. Congrats, your soul has been sacrificed to evil forces!
Now, there are many methods of sacrificing your soul, this just happens to be my favorite. I've found that is yields consistent results, and is easy and cost effective. I hope you have fun sacrificing your soul!
Monday, June 22, 2015
Suprisingly Mature Thoughts About "The Heir" By Kiera Cass
TW: Spoilers Ahead
Yesterday, I began reading "The Heir' By Kiera Cass, the fourth in the Selection series, and today I finished. I wanted to chronicle what I thought of it, and mainly what I think of Eadlyn, the main character. Eadlyn is self centered, she is a control freak, she has built up walls around herself that she only lets a few people into, and even then, not all the way. She sometimes only hears what she wants to, and she can be blind to her flaws. She's not sweet by any stretch of the imagination, and she sometimes pushes people too hard. My points is, she's not perfect by any standards. I think it is because of this that she is such an intriguing character to me.
Yesterday, I began reading "The Heir' By Kiera Cass, the fourth in the Selection series, and today I finished. I wanted to chronicle what I thought of it, and mainly what I think of Eadlyn, the main character. Eadlyn is self centered, she is a control freak, she has built up walls around herself that she only lets a few people into, and even then, not all the way. She sometimes only hears what she wants to, and she can be blind to her flaws. She's not sweet by any stretch of the imagination, and she sometimes pushes people too hard. My points is, she's not perfect by any standards. I think it is because of this that she is such an intriguing character to me.
She has good points too: She is fiercely independent, she has (mostly) unwavering faith in herself, she has to capacity to be good to people, and she embraces the necessary power demanded by her position (future Queen of Illea). Yet these features aren't exaggerated, and they aren't used to wash out the bad things about her. There is ample evidence of her vainness, and unwillingness to change herself or let herself be changed, especially in the beginning of the novel (by the end she has become more flexible, but only slightly), and of the coldness around her heart. Yet, that is what good moments so wonderful. Eadlyn is a protagonist who is allowed to be cruel, who is allowed to be distant, who is allowed to be cold and calculating, who is allowed to be desperate for control all the time. We know that she is often a good person, that there is nothing truly evil about her, but we see characters who don't see her goodness, who only see her bad. And we can identify with them. We can understand seeing only her flaws. But even when she's completely horrible, she's not an ironic anti-hero. She's still the hero, and it's still undoubtedly the same character. Many times when a protagonist is portrayed as momentarily bad, or an antagonist as momentarily good, you see a completely different character. But with Eadlyn, no matter what situation she's in, or if she's being presented as good or bad, it's still unmistakably her. It's quite satisfying really.
Friday, June 12, 2015
Surprise Fanfic
Hey guys!! It's Chloe, Heather's friend. I hacked her blog, and I thought that you might enjoy a fanfiction about us.
The Adventures of Two Cats That Sat On A Windowsill One Day
Once upon a Pizza, there lived a magnificent Pegacorn and a Frog. The Pegacorn's name was Heather, and the Frog's name was Pepe. One day, they decided to go to the woods. then, they ran really far, holding hands and laughing maniacally. When they got to a river, they both cut their fingers, and poured their blood nto the river.
"We're blood brothers now," Pepe whispered in Heather's ear.
To be continued...
To be continued...
Free Pizza
I got free pizza today. This is how it happened...
So, my friend Chloe was over today, and we were hungry and my house had like 5% food, which on the pretend scale I'm using, is not a lot. So we ordered pizza. It was delicious. But! She found a thing in it, which she thought was a bone. Which I guess is understandable, since it had ham on it. So anyway, we called the pizza place (Papa John's) and explained the situation to the person to the phone, to which he replied, "Do you want me to send another pizza over there?" to which we replied "YASSSSSSSSSSS" to which he replied "Ok", or some variation thereupon. So we got a free pizza. And it was basically the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
So, my friend Chloe was over today, and we were hungry and my house had like 5% food, which on the pretend scale I'm using, is not a lot. So we ordered pizza. It was delicious. But! She found a thing in it, which she thought was a bone. Which I guess is understandable, since it had ham on it. So anyway, we called the pizza place (Papa John's) and explained the situation to the person to the phone, to which he replied, "Do you want me to send another pizza over there?" to which we replied "YASSSSSSSSSSS" to which he replied "Ok", or some variation thereupon. So we got a free pizza. And it was basically the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Poetry
So, recently, the Heather from www.whythinks.blogspot.com and I went to a writing workshop by two professional writers, like real professionals. There was a part in the workshop about blogs, and bearing that in mind, I (against the other Heather's will, mind you) emailed them our blog urls. I was thinking I should probably post something mature and sophisticated (I had to type several variations of that in a google search bar to figure out how to actually spell it. No shame). So then I was like, well nothing screams mature and sophisticated like poetry, and I am capable of writing some pretty average poetry, if I do say so myself (hair flip). So without further ado, here are these two poems that I've written recently that I kinda like...
Flying Away
As the night flew away,
into light of day
Scorching, burning, light of day
Again I wonder how long it will take
How long it will take,
for the whole thing to shake
Shaking, shaking, with all it's might
Flying away into dead of night.
Perfect as Misery can be
Soft whispers Of Lightning falling throughout my world
Snow fast around My ankles swirled
The day was dreary and perfect as Misery can Be
For don't You know sunshine Always costs a Fee
The snow swirls stop me in my tracks
put me to sleep,
wake up me
and I don't know
which is best
the grass blooms green through the empty trees
the winter gone no longer seized
Along all the winding paths of life,
and always pick the One of Strife
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There were a couple others that I really liked, unfortunately I'm rather terrified of people stealing my work, so I won't post them anywhere until I can copyright them :)
Flying Away
As the night flew away,
into light of day
Scorching, burning, light of day
Again I wonder how long it will take
How long it will take,
for the whole thing to shake
Shaking, shaking, with all it's might
Flying away into dead of night.
Perfect as Misery can be
Soft whispers Of Lightning falling throughout my world
Snow fast around My ankles swirled
The day was dreary and perfect as Misery can Be
For don't You know sunshine Always costs a Fee
The snow swirls stop me in my tracks
put me to sleep,
wake up me
and I don't know
which is best
the grass blooms green through the empty trees
the winter gone no longer seized
Along all the winding paths of life,
and always pick the One of Strife
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There were a couple others that I really liked, unfortunately I'm rather terrified of people stealing my work, so I won't post them anywhere until I can copyright them :)
Monday, June 8, 2015
OTP Prompts cause those are fun
Hey, so I thought I would help out the community by making this post, because otp prompts are a lot of fun. They're also important, because there are many unfortunates who have the potential to be writing amazing fanfiction, but have no ideas. So here are some AUs (alternate universes) and regular prompts that I have come up with, and links to other pages with more of them.
My AU Prompts:
Yes, I realize that these are all on tumblr, but that's basically where all the good prompts are.
My AU Prompts:
- Your Otp as time travelers AU
- Person A is a flight attendant, and person B is flying on the plane. They connect and talk while flying, when all of a sudden the plane begins to crash. They comfort each other as it goes down. Whether they live or die, and what happens between them, is up to you.
- Imagine your OTP living as ponies in Equestria.
- Person A is a witch/wizard, but Person B doesn't know about it yet. One day Person B walks in on them practicing magic.
- Imagine your otp in the '20s.
- 'We're total strangers but I just had a mental breakdown in front of you and now we're having a long deep conversation about the things that stress us out and our dreams that we can never achieve and other things like that" AU
- Imagine your otp going shopping together for the first time and Person A finding out all about little quirks that Person B has.
- Imagine your otp going trick or treating. Do they wear couple's costumes? Which one is ridiculously excited by the prospect of free candy? Which one is embarrassed about walking up to stranger's houses and asking for candy? Which one tries to make friends with everyone they see? Which one would rather have gone to a party? Who's neighborhood do they trick or treat in?
- Imagine your otp having an innocent pillow fight that turns into an absolute war.
- Imagine your opt watching horror movies together and Person A is terrified but won't admit it, while Person B isn't scared at all and think's A's reaction is adorable.
- Imagine your otp having a study session that quickly turns into an intense make-out session.
- Imagine your otp going to a concert together for the first time.
- Imagine your otp singing karaoke together, and Person A has to guilt/pressure Person B into doing it, but they both end up having an amazing time.
- Imagine Person A convincing Person B to get a pet
- Imagine your otp cuddling up during a thunderstorm
- Imagine person A of your otp sitting on person B's lap while they play Mario Kart.
- Imagine your otp going out on a friendly camping trip but only remembered to bring one sleeping bag. After a night of sleeping so close together, they admit their feelings for each other in the morning.
- Imagine your otp stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel after they've had a fight.
Yes, I realize that these are all on tumblr, but that's basically where all the good prompts are.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Favicon Troubles
This just in: It's 2:42 and I just tried to change my favicon to a picture of the little smiling purple emoji with horns, and it said it was fine, but it's not showing up and it's making me very upset. I don't know what to do but Mary Tyler Moore is helping me through it.
"I'm Coming For You"
I am writing this post so that the scientists of the future know how I have died and they can correctly analyze my dead body. The other day I found a note on my phone that I don't remember writing, but it said it was written on April 19. I'd never noticed it before. The note said, and I quote:
I'm coming for you.
There's nothing you can do
Even if it keeps my broken heart from fleeting
Your blood will spill so true
Hope you don't have the flu
'Cause then everyone will too
I asked all of my friends that I'd seen since April and they all said they didn't write it, so I genuinely have no idea where it came from. I am actually terrified at this moment in time, but I take comfort in knowing that the nonexistence readers of this blog will know the truth. That is all. Thank you.
I'm coming for you.
There's nothing you can do
Even if it keeps my broken heart from fleeting
Your blood will spill so true
Hope you don't have the flu
'Cause then everyone will too
I asked all of my friends that I'd seen since April and they all said they didn't write it, so I genuinely have no idea where it came from. I am actually terrified at this moment in time, but I take comfort in knowing that the nonexistence readers of this blog will know the truth. That is all. Thank you.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Interviewing Heather's blerg
So, recently I interviewed the owner of one of my favorite blogs, Heather's blerg. This is what happened...
Hello
Hello. How are you?
I'll be asking the questions here.
Ok.
So, I understand that you have a blerg
I do, thanks
What kind of stuff do you post on your blerg?
Um, like, stuff.
When and why did you start blerging?
A little over a year ago, because I was a bored little kid with no to little social life, and I still have no to little social life but it was worth it.
what's your favorite post on your blerg?
I really like what would the races of middle earth drink that one I'm really proud of, cause its vaguely interesting in a way. Also Of Piñatas, Shovels and Bunnies. I'm really proud of that one.
how long do you plan on blerging?
Um, as long as it takes to take over the world? I guess.
Who's your favorite fictional man?
Oh god! Oh!
...
...
I guess Legolas since you know we're engaged and stuff.
How do you feel about feminism, and global warming?
They're both hot! (We then proceeded to congratulate her/be in awe of that, for that for the next five minutes.)
What, in your opinion, is the most important part of any soufflé?
I like the chewy parts around the outside and I like when they meet, the gushy parts in the inside.
What is your favorite book(s) at the moment?
The moment...the Lord of the Rings trilogy of course!
What's your favorite part of blerging?
Um... I like writing snarky comments and then getting concerned that no one will get them, and then erasing them its kind of vaguely satisfying. Also I like putting pictures on it cause it makes me feel pretty.
Otp and Notp?
Otp Leather (Her and Legolas) Notp Dramionie (DracoxHermionie)
That strangest things about you?
Everything? The large gap between my big toes and my other toes.
So there has been some controversy over this subject for a while now. Are you still getting married to Legolas now that you're hopelessly in love with Captain America? What's the situation there?
(Hides under blanket)
Hello
Hello. How are you?
I'll be asking the questions here.
Ok.
So, I understand that you have a blerg
I do, thanks
What kind of stuff do you post on your blerg?
Um, like, stuff.
When and why did you start blerging?
A little over a year ago, because I was a bored little kid with no to little social life, and I still have no to little social life but it was worth it.
what's your favorite post on your blerg?
I really like what would the races of middle earth drink that one I'm really proud of, cause its vaguely interesting in a way. Also Of Piñatas, Shovels and Bunnies. I'm really proud of that one.
how long do you plan on blerging?
Um, as long as it takes to take over the world? I guess.
Who's your favorite fictional man?
Oh god! Oh!
...
...
I guess Legolas since you know we're engaged and stuff.
How do you feel about feminism, and global warming?
They're both hot! (We then proceeded to congratulate her/be in awe of that, for that for the next five minutes.)
What, in your opinion, is the most important part of any soufflé?
I like the chewy parts around the outside and I like when they meet, the gushy parts in the inside.
What is your favorite book(s) at the moment?
The moment...the Lord of the Rings trilogy of course!
What's your favorite part of blerging?
Um... I like writing snarky comments and then getting concerned that no one will get them, and then erasing them its kind of vaguely satisfying. Also I like putting pictures on it cause it makes me feel pretty.
Otp and Notp?
Otp Leather (Her and Legolas) Notp Dramionie (DracoxHermionie)
That strangest things about you?
Everything? The large gap between my big toes and my other toes.
So there has been some controversy over this subject for a while now. Are you still getting married to Legolas now that you're hopelessly in love with Captain America? What's the situation there?
(Hides under blanket)
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
I Have A Dream
Hello, it is I, the eggplant. I have come out of my summer hibernation to give you an important message. A few nights ago, I had a spectacular dream. This was a dream for the ages. The best dream of all dreams. This is what happened...
In the beginning, I was at a sleepover with some of my friends. I don't remember a lot of that part. Then, my dream did a jump-cut to me at a bar. Suddenly, I walked up to David Tennant (best known as the 10th doctor in Doctor Who and also my soul mate) and started making out with him. Like I pushed him against a wall and started making out with him. It was great. But that's not even the best part. Cause then I started making out with Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester on Supernatural. Duh) and THEN we started sword fighting. In a little glass cage just like in Taylor Swift's Bad Blood music video, and I think I was actually wearing Taylor's outfit, like the braid and everything. It was so cool. And they tasted good. Anyway...
Watch Bad Blood if you please
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIy9NiNbmo
Thank you.
-Your friendly neighborhood Squash
In the beginning, I was at a sleepover with some of my friends. I don't remember a lot of that part. Then, my dream did a jump-cut to me at a bar. Suddenly, I walked up to David Tennant (best known as the 10th doctor in Doctor Who and also my soul mate) and started making out with him. Like I pushed him against a wall and started making out with him. It was great. But that's not even the best part. Cause then I started making out with Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester on Supernatural. Duh) and THEN we started sword fighting. In a little glass cage just like in Taylor Swift's Bad Blood music video, and I think I was actually wearing Taylor's outfit, like the braid and everything. It was so cool. And they tasted good. Anyway...
Watch Bad Blood if you please
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIy9NiNbmo
Thank you.
-Your friendly neighborhood Squash
So this is a blog?
I'm still a bit confused about the whole "blogging" thing but my friend has one and it looks like fun (www.whythinks.blogspot.com go check it it's hilarious and the perfect place to waste hours), so. I don't know what I could possibly talk about, as I have a very dull life that is only occasionally pierced by a slightly interesting thing happening. Most of those things are my friends existing. And by that I mean the fact that they exist and aren't just figments of my imagination, like some of my friends. Isn't that right, Miss. Acorn? They tried to lock me up once-well twice-well three times-well four times-well...a few times, but Miss. Acorn broke me out. Anyway.
So, if you're reading this, don't be expecting anything especially life enhancing to come out of the experience. The majority of my blog posts, especially during the summer, will probably be 3 am musings and rambling. Some involving Harry Potter. Most involving Harry Potter, or possibly Doctor Who, or possibly Taylor Swift, whichever I'm most obsessed with at the time. Anywho,(which, by the way, I NEVER EVER EVER say, On principle) I feel like this is getting long/boring but thanks to anyone who's reading this and um, yes.
-Your friendly neighborhood Eggplant
So, if you're reading this, don't be expecting anything especially life enhancing to come out of the experience. The majority of my blog posts, especially during the summer, will probably be 3 am musings and rambling. Some involving Harry Potter. Most involving Harry Potter, or possibly Doctor Who, or possibly Taylor Swift, whichever I'm most obsessed with at the time. Anywho,(which, by the way, I NEVER EVER EVER say, On principle) I feel like this is getting long/boring but thanks to anyone who's reading this and um, yes.
-Your friendly neighborhood Eggplant
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